Vegans and non-vegans 5 min read
Dating a Non-Vegan: Can It Work?
Dating a non-vegan can work, and plenty of couples make it work, but it works best when you talk early about food at home, eating out, family meals and any children, and when the non-vegan partner respects the choice rather than tolerating it. If those talks go badly, believe them.
By the Just Vegan Dating team
In short
- It can work, if the non-vegan respects the choice rather than tolerating it.
- Talk early about food at home, eating out, family meals and children.
- Dating a vegan? Take it seriously, cook a few good meals and back them up.
- If you are tired of negotiating, a vegan dating site starts you on shared ground.
Whether a vegan and a non-vegan can make a relationship work is one of the most common questions in vegan dating. The honest answer is that it depends less on what each of you eats and more on respect, and on how much veganism shapes the rest of your life.
Can a vegan date a non-vegan?
Yes. Some vegans would never consider it, and that is a perfectly reasonable line to draw. Others are happy with a vegetarian or with a meat-eater who cooks vegan at home and never mocks the choice. Many couples start mixed and end up both vegan, because living with someone who cooks good plant-based food every day is persuasive. What rarely works is a partner who treats your veganism as a phase to be waited out.
The conversations to have early
- Food at home. Will the kitchen be vegan? Separate pans? Meat in the fridge? Agree before you move in, not after.
- Eating out. Will you pick places with real vegan options, not a side salad?
- Family and friends. How will Christmas, barbecues and weddings go? Will your partner back you up when someone makes the usual jokes?
- Children. If you want them, how would you raise them? This is the one that most often decides things.
- The rest. Leather sofas, wool jumpers, cosmetics, holidays with animal attractions. The details vary; the respect should not.
If you are dating a vegan and you are not one
People searching "dating a vegan" are often on the other side of this. The best advice is simple. Do not treat it as a diet. Ask why, and listen. Learn to cook a few good vegan meals. Choose restaurants with them in mind. Never make them the entertainment at family meals. You do not have to go vegan, but you do have to take it seriously.
Signs it is working, and signs it is not
It is working when your partner orders the vegan option without being asked when you share a plate, defends you to their family and asks good questions. It is not working when every meal becomes a debate, when they hide what they eat, or when you find yourself apologising for your values. Small frictions are normal; contempt is not.
Or start with someone who already gets it
If you have had enough of negotiating, there is no shame in looking for a vegan partner from the start. That is what a vegan dating site is for. On Just Vegan Dating, everyone joined to meet vegans; vegetarians and plant-curious people join too, and their profiles say where they stand. Our guide on how to find a vegan partner covers where else to look.
Questions people ask
Should vegans only date vegans?
That is a personal choice. Some vegans would not consider anything else; others are happy with a respectful vegetarian or meat-eater. Both are reasonable.
Would you date a vegan if you are not one?
Many people do. It works best if you are curious, respectful and willing to eat vegan together at home and when you go out.
What is the biggest issue in vegan and non-vegan relationships?
Food at home and how to raise any children tend to matter most. Talk about both early.